Holidays A field guide for one

How to Spend Thanksgiving Alone (and Actually Enjoy It)

All your favorite traditions. None of the dishes nobody likes.

There are certain advantages to being the sole member of the Thanksgiving planning committee. Nobody can insist on marshmallows on the sweet potatoes. Nobody asks why dinner isn't at two. Nobody expects you to roast a bird roughly the size of a carry-on suitcase.

You can have the Thanksgiving you actually want.

That might mean turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and a real slice of pumpkin pie, prepared for one very good dinner with a little turkey left over for Friday. It might mean a beautiful dinner assembled almost entirely from things somebody else cooked. It might mean abandoning turkey altogether for a steak, a special dessert, and an evening designed entirely around your own preferences.

All three are excellent plans. The trick is to treat the day as an occasion worth planning rather than an ordinary Thursday that happens to feature televised football.

Three ways to the table

First, choose your dinner

Each dinner has its own shopping list and preparation plan. Pick the one you actually want to eat, rather than the one you feel you ought to make.

Keep the traditions you actually like

There's no rule requiring you to reproduce the Thanksgiving of your childhood, a television special, or a magazine photograph. Keep one or two things that make the day feel special. Perhaps you always watch the parade. Perhaps you love a long walk, a favorite film, a call with someone important, or setting a beautiful table. Make room for those things. Retire anything you have never enjoyed.

Set the table for the guest of honor

You're the guest. Use a proper plate. Get out the napkin you like. Light a candle if you have one. Put the meal on the table rather than eating it over the sink. A single place setting arranged exactly as you want it is a perfectly complete holiday table.

Give the day a shape

Choose something for the morning, afternoon and evening. They can be modest: a walk, a book, a museum if open, a film, a phone call, a favorite activity. If you want company, make a plan for it; if you want quiet, enjoy the freedom to choose. If this year is solo in a way you didn't choose, a small, gentle plan is enough. The point is to make the day manageable on your own terms.

Remember Friday

If you cooked the Little Classic, the remaining safely stored turkey can become Friday's sandwich. If you didn't, make Friday its own pleasure: a long breakfast, an outing, or whatever happens to sound good. Thanksgiving needn't be the end of the story.